Judgmental Parents. If you ask any parent, they will most likely tell you that they have dealt with one (or more) at some point during their children’s lives. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those parents who think that everything that they do is right and anything else is totally wrong. Some are not shy about voicing their opinions and others are downright despicable about it.
I have dealt with 3 different types of judgmental parents. Type A is going to tell you to your face that you are doing it wrong and that if you want to be right, you need to do it their way. Type A, to me is easier to deal with. At least they are honest about how they feel, and you can deal with them directly and in a expedited manner. Type B are the ones that think that you are a bad parent because you are doing things different than they are and instead of telling you how they feel, they tell everyone else. You know the type. The gossip behind your back type. I personally can not stand these parents. They irk me. I am the type of person that if you have something to say about me, my family or the way we do things, say it to my face. Then there is Type C. These are the ones that say something to you and if you don’t change your “terribly wrong ways”, they exaggerate things and tell the world behind your back.
To be honest I am severely irritated by all three. The last two really get me hot under the collar. I suppose my main issue is that we each have a parenting style. Somethings work for us while others don’t. Im sure we can all agree that there is no RIGHT way to parent. What works for me and my kids may not work for you at all, and visa versa. No two kids are the same, so no two parenting styles are the same. Heck you may have a different parenting style for each one of your children for this reason. Its just the way it works.
We as moms, dads, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, or whatever your caregiver title is, need to stop being so critical of the ways others parent and focus on what WE ARE DOING.
Now I am not saying in any way to overlook child abuse or if the family needs help. That is a whole different situation and story. However, if the child/children are well nourished (whatever that may look like for those kids. I remember when my daughter outright refused to eat anything other than hotdogs with ketchup and ranch or PB&J. I couldn’t get her to eat anything else no matter what I tried. No amount of forcing, coercion or bribery would work.), clean….. most of the time (because let’s face it, children LOVE getting dirty.), doesn’t look like they are being beat (I’m not talking about normal bruises or injuries. Children can be very clumsy or reckless because they are playing. My daughter’s legs are usually more bruises than not. She has 3 older brothers she likes to beat up. Granted they were taught not to hit girls, so she gets away with a lot from them. Mostly because they want their little sister to be tough and don’t mind her roughhousing. She also loves to play outside, climb trees, run and such. She is a little country girl and often has the bruises to prove it). And is not overly fearful or flinches every time you get close to them.
If this is the case, then leave the parents alone. Let them parent the way that works for them. They don’t need your criticism. If you feel moved to help, then be supportive. Being an asshole never helped anyone, and let’s be honest, our children can be enough of that for everyone. Its just how children are. They are not adults that should know better. We need more community and less hecklers. I miss the days when people actually believed the saying “it takes a village”. The days when our world wasn’t so terrifying to children and parents alike. The days when we could trust each other.
If you are one of the three types listed above and I have hurt your feelings, I’m sorry. However, I am sure you have hurt more than your share as well. If you must have a negative opinion, just keep it to yourself and only yourself (and your spouse. I tell mine everything because he is truly my other half. I do not count him in the “other people category” because he is a part of me. Like an extension of myself in another body). You are entitled to feel anyway you choose, just don’t hurt everyone around you with your opinion. We need to become a community again. Where we can ask advise from other parents without fear of judgement and really rely on each other. Its important that we start uplifting one another instead of tearing each other down. Let’s start a positive parenting community movement.
As always thank you for taking the time to read and God Bless you and yours.